Measuring Life

Let me start this by asking you a question to entertain as you read….”how many ways do I measure myself to fit a perceived standard?”

This morning, I took a walk and the first thing I did was open my MapMyRun app because I wanted to know how many miles I may walk and how fast (measurement). In this moment, I became completely aware of me doing this out of a habit – but why? Do I really need to know how far I walk or how long it takes me to walk those 3 miles? Who am I measuring this for – myself or some outside validation? What will knowing this information do for me?

It was crystal clear I was doing it because it is what I have done for decades. I measured my health or fitness level as a way to say, “I’m doing something.” This was a guideline that came from years of outside programming that said, “to be healthy you must know your numbers.” Know your bloodwork numbers, your calories in-calories out and you will know if you are on the right path to health. By who’s health standards? Mine? This was not customized to me. This does not come from me “knowing” my truth.

Then I thought in what other ways do we measure ourselves and I have in the past…

·        Waist size

·        Weight

·        Height (tall enough or buy short length pants)

·        Titles and Work Evaluations

·        Now there are apps to track your Mindset and Emotion scale.

·        How much money do you make?

·        We’ve been married 20 years or divorced two times.

·        Speed in which we complete a task, exercise, or my personal favorite “can I beat the GPS ETA.”

·        Size of our clothes and women we all know that a size 10 in one brand of jeans is a size 14 in another.

·        Or what about the spiritual/religious world of “you have to do XYZ to reach a certain level of enlightenment” – yet the XYZ is elusive and feels unattainable because once you think you are there those who are ‘more enlightened than you’ move the goal line.

There are many more ways we measure so again I ask “why” do we feel this incessant need to measure every area of our life? What does this really accomplish?

The answer is, “it accomplishes nothing but creating more stress, anxiety, and in some cases sadness in our lives.” Because what is being generated is the constant tug-a-war within you – your heart and mind fighting for control but really wanting to unite. We measure and compare against others in hopes to gain some sort of validation or reflection back from someone / anyone to say, “job well done.” This is your individuated consciousness seeking that validation, that reflection. We want someone to be proud of who we are and what we are doing.

There is no judgment here. I have been doing this my whole life. We are taught and ‘seek outside validation’ is reinforced at an early age. Get a good grade and the teacher dotes on your achievement. Then you come home, and your parents are so proud of your report card. As an adult you celebrate your achievement with some plaque or maybe even a promotion. Your personal trainer puts you at the top of their leader board because you reach a fitness goal. Again reinforcing, ‘if you do what we tell you to do we will validate you.’

This type of programming can be quite difficult to change. As children, others believe they are giving us goals to help us grow into productive and well-behaved adults. As adults this is a means to keep you looking outside of yourself for validation and not looking inward for that validation.

Now here is where it gets a little tricky because just like with jean sizes and enlightenment, we are always receiving mixed signals which keep us guessing and seeking that validation. Am I really a size 10 or a 14? Do I truly understand the sacred texts, I read the book front to back? Only to be told you are misinterpreting the text. I was told I would get that promotion after I accomplish XYZ goals, now to only be told “maybe next year because this year we have budget constraints.” You are always kept wanting more, guessing, and thinking “it must be me doing something wrong.” All of this while society, apps, gurus, and the like are also promoting “know your worth,” “let me help you understand your value,” or “the only validation you need is yourself” only to have them tell you when you have achieved knowing your self-worth.

One of the biggest realizations is that I put most of these expectations into place. I created my reality to have people, apps, spiritual leaders, the scale, and more to validate me. I gave them the power to tell me when I was good enough.

Here is the BEAUTY in this realization – these are ‘perceived’ expectations that I put into place; therefore, if I put them there, I can remove them. I can choose to take my own power back and choose to see the truth of my life. If I can create this much angst, anxiety, chaos, and inner turmoil by creating and choosing to live by all these forms of measurement – I CAN CHOOSE to step out of the matrix of it all and STOP THE MEASURING because there is nothing to measure when you live in the moment. There is only the NOW.

When you are in the PRESENT MOMENT, you will recognize more easily when these habits present themselves, which means you can quickly ask “why am I doing this and who am I doing it for?” This helps you see it with complete objectivity. The PRESENT MOMENT is where you get to choose YOU over and over again. You get to see life from the lens of “am I putting myself first by doing this or being in that relationship.” The NOW is where you get to know yourself on a very intimate level and I have to admit some of it you may not necessarily like at first – but know you are growing, transforming and changing so have empathy for yourself as you go on this journey. It is just that; a journey – a journey where you get to learn about yourself, as this expression of Source. So, ask, “what about this is Source learning?” You are always learning, which is GOOD thing. There is no goal to achieve in the PRESENT MOMENT.

So, in my ‘learning’ this morning, I put my app away and enjoyed my walk with no pressure of time or distance. No pressures of any kind. Peace arose and everything on my walk seemed to have more meaning. As I passed by peoples’ yards their flowers seemed brighter – flowers I had not noticed before. The sky seemed more brilliant. The breeze felt amazing as it brushed against my skin. All of this level of BEAUTY was being missed within my measurements. Now even when there are moments where I am having more challenging learning objectives (in the middle of one now so stay tuned), I will have this reminder that out of learning the objective comes BEAUTY, POWER, SELF-LOVE, and GRATITUDE.